Friday, January 8, 2010

Black Teeth and Gray Lice-Filled Hair

While going through old files on the computer I discovered proof that ten-year-old Emily had more than enough time on her hands.

Hello. My name is Barney. I am a cool person. Let me tell you about my life. Well, here goes!

Every morning, Mom calls me downstairs.

“Yo, Barns! Barnsey, Warnsey, get down here, ya little freak!”

I do not listen.

“I am not going to school today!” I shout back, mad.

“Oh, yes you are!” she bellows.

She comes into my room, maaad! “GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!” she screams at the top of her stupid lungs.

“Make me!” I say back.

She screams real loud.

“Ha, ha! Mom, you are a mad dog!” I laugh.

I chuckle.

She turns poofy and red all over.

I guffaw.

She smokes at the ears.


shouts my dear, sweet mother.

See how calm and beautiful she is? I love her black teeth and gray, lice filled hair. I also admire how her bones are starting to crumble and her face is falling off. See what I have to deal with?


ariandalen said...

I see you were already into zombies. ;)

EmilyLady said...

An interesting observation!

Anonymous said...

Oh my god Emily, remember those stories we used to write back and forth? With the hedgehog, and with you marrying Ron Weasley or whatever?
oh man.
good times.
Tori B

EmilyLady said...

Oh my yes. Those were so much fun. I used to love the Ron ones. "And then Ron slapped Emily's behind ... and she laughed as she bathed the seven red-headed children ..."