Friday, January 8, 2010

Black Teeth and Gray Lice-Filled Hair

While going through old files on the computer I discovered proof that ten-year-old Emily had more than enough time on her hands.

Hello. My name is Barney. I am a cool person. Let me tell you about my life. Well, here goes!

Every morning, Mom calls me downstairs.

“Yo, Barns! Barnsey, Warnsey, get down here, ya little freak!”

I do not listen.

“I am not going to school today!” I shout back, mad.

“Oh, yes you are!” she bellows.

She comes into my room, maaad! “GO TO SCHOOL!!!!!” she screams at the top of her stupid lungs.

“Make me!” I say back.

She screams real loud.

“Ha, ha! Mom, you are a mad dog!” I laugh.

I chuckle.

She turns poofy and red all over.

I guffaw.

She smokes at the ears.


shouts my dear, sweet mother.

See how calm and beautiful she is? I love her black teeth and gray, lice filled hair. I also admire how her bones are starting to crumble and her face is falling off. See what I have to deal with?